HOLLAND

So I borrowed this from another blog, but when I read it, it totally made me cry! It really does explain the emotions and feelings you have when you're a parent of a special needs child. Today it really hit home with me because we are going through the emotions all over again that we did with Cassius. I heard, "Atticus has PDD-NOS" today and I thought "Why Me Again?" So, I reread this and it made me feel so much better!

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland".

"Holland?!?!" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you have been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips...Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, go away... because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.